Any person who has moved away from home will understand me when I say this: your home will always be different and separate from your home. I have our home here in Colorado. Jon and I love it here, our babies love it and we constantly talk about when our life in the military is no more and we finally settle down, that Colorado is at the top of our list to call "home." Then, Jon and I have two separate homes. This is the home that houses our families and some of our very closest friends. They are places that require quite a haul to visit but the distance becomes a vague memory the moment you step foot in the door. Through the door lies memories, love and comfort... all the things you crave when you're away. There is something romantic about going home because all the sounds, smells, tastes and feelings rush back to you as though you had never left. It's a relationship that you fall right back into. It's just special.
I took a 16 day trip back home to Arkansas and it was my first true "visit" since moving last November. It was a trip in which I had a couple different purposes for being there but no one large obligation to draw me in. I gained a new appreciation for my home after being gone for the past few months and coming back. You realize how precious your time is and stay careful in the ways that you utilize it. You become grossly aware of the people and things that are worth keeping in your life and those that are not. That may seem harsh, but it's true. In this trip, I was there for my sweet nephew's 2nd birthday, I had some great quality time with my 89 year old grandmother, I had one-on-one time with both of my parents (together and separately), I worked with my favorite co-workers, I got to go back to my hometown and see my very best friends and even snuggle on two brand new baby girls of two of my dearest friends. The only way to describe it was just... good. It was good for my soul. God only knew, I really needed it.
While I know that my home will always be where the military takes Jon and me, I will always have a longing for the familiar. I feel blessed that God entrusted Jon with a heart for the military, the want to make a difference and help others. I feel thankful that God gave me the heart to support and to love this lifestyle we are thrown into. My home formed me into that person. But, it is always the hardest for me to admit that I do have my days where I cry, I miss home, I miss having a girlfriend that I can call and you can bet we'll be meeting for lunch and dinner that night or I long to just drive to my parents house and just be. I was talking to one of my best friends about the struggles of military life and moving to a new place and a new base and having to uproot your life. All of these new transitions are riddled with a numerous amount of pros and unfortunately some cons. I described a military move as truly the worst aspects of the dating game or speed dating. You try to find the best things about a place only to realize no place is truly perfect. There will be things you don't like about any place, but on the flip side, you can always find some things you will love. You "church shop" until you find the right fit and hear God's calling to serve and join in that family of faith. You try to meet new friends but just when you think that "hey, I might have found one," you see that maybe that person wasn't even on the same page. Granted you have a constant friend in your spouse, but let's be honest... girls, you need at least one good girl friend! It's hard to find yourself in that place of loneliness and praying for the right friend to be brought into your life. But as sure as you are lonely, God will always provide those whom he sees fit for your life. Military wives, do you know what I mean? Do you find it hard to trust and know sometimes even when you think that you will forever sit at home with no friends? Some of my sweetest friends tho, God and the military led me to. I know they will be there no matter the PCS moves and the miles. I know God will be faithful and in due time provide those sweet friends with each move. All these things though that I just rambled off, bring you back to a place of being thankful for home where those wants and needs to love and feel accepted in a place far from home are grown.
A lot of people have told me that you will begin to look at home in a different light and pick up on different things each time you go back. This is so true. There were several things over the past couple of weeks that have touched me and queued some thoughts that I plan on sharing over the next couple of blogs. But today, I just simply wanted to write about home and how very special it is.
Live. Laugh. Love. & HOME.
Melissa
The Sleeping Babe
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