While it has been blessed, our worlds have been tipped on their sides this year in ways that we could have never imagined, even just 4 years ago as we spent our first New Year's in Colorado. God has grown us and stretched us to prepare us for this season and I know that four year New Years Eves from now, we'll look back and see the purpose in this journey we are walking. Now, that sounds elegant and great, like I have it all together but we all know that isn't true... I'm human. While I submit fully to God's calling (like anyone) it's not perfect or glamorous a lot of days in how I handle everything. There are days where I question everything, cry, miss Jon so bad... I'd just about do anything to have a hug from him, feel lonely, and wonder why the plan doesn't look like what I pictured in my head. Example, tonight, instead of being Arizona and spending time with my friends to bring in the new year, I am still in Arkansas and spending a night in (too sick to fly) nursing a gnarly sinus infection. While I know I would have had a great time, I'm not mad, I know I needed the rest and extra time with my family.
My detour of plans for the past couple of days got me thinking about my new year and what word will represent my year. Some of y'all know that I'm not really a resolution type gal. I read somewhere that less than 10% of people actually follow through with their resolutions... I believe it. It's hard to keep up with blanket goals, although the end goal is to improve life in some way shape or form, when life hits (and not I'm not knocking anyone who does them but they are not for me). So, through inspiration from a dear friend of mine (she'll know who she is... HI!), I choose to represent my year with a word so that I can try and apply it to all facets of my life. If you find that resolutions don't work for you either, I encourage you to do this!
I think the perfect word to represent my year is intentional. This comes from a place of learning that I've experienced this year mostly starting when I broke my arm and even until now (and I'm sure it will forever be a learning process). I've always have tried to be intentional or purposeful with my life and what I do with it but let's be honest, sometimes life happens (like it always does) and I get bogged down with details and things that don't matter. When I was reduced to one arm and not being able to really do much of anything, it (literally) slowed me down and knocked me down a couple of much needed pegs to let me know that I wasn't in control when I very much "needed" and wanted to be. I needed that reality check before dental school badly and that lesson has served me well as I've been enduring it. Between school, dealing with a deployment, and life never stopping for anything, I've been able to see when things need to fall of the plate, who to surround myself with, what to give my time to, and what fills my soul up and what doesn't. It's been one of the hardest lesson for this control and order lover to learn but it's been humbling, so this year, I am making a point to be intentional with my time, my heart, my thoughts, my words, and abilities. I think we could all use a little bit of it in our lives so that we can see the bigger picture, and ultimately God's blessings, big and small.
Live. Love. Be Intentional.