So a lot has happened in 2012! Right before I had posted last time, my sister and her husband had discretely told our family that they were expecting! Excited didn't cover it and when I found out we had a sweet nephew on the way, our joy grew even more! On June 25th, Ethan Joseph made his early entrance into this world and was perfect from his sweet little face to his adorable little toes! The first time I held him, I couldn't help but think that this is God's perfect picture of innocence. This is how our Father sees us. He is such a precious blessing! Take a look....
Well besides the additions to the Simmons/Roe/DeCann families, my parents after 21 years in the home that I grew up in, moved to Bentonville where they are building a home. It is such a bitter sweet thing! The hard part is seeing your "home" of so many memories close it's doors to us and open them to a different family. But in a way, it is fitting to begin to fill a new home with new memories of ever growing families, grandbabies and new friends... that is the sweet part.
Well, I guess the part I have been avoiding. I have known for a while now that Jon would be making another deployment overseas. I have known it will be a long one. I have known that my family is no longer here to occupy the majority of my time. I have known that he'll be gone for our first anniversary, Thanksgiving and Christmas. I have prayed for a while too about all of these things that I know and that I accept. I always tell myself it could be worse and that because of the timing, it'll go by quicker. But as one of my best friends has talked with me about, I truly have been in a sense of denial about it all. I have moments where I am strong and possibly that has been the "denial" of it all. I do not feel like it's denial (ha), but more not being honest with my feelings or letting myself experience them for what they really are. Aside from dampening my feelings, I feel like I am not letting myself experience the situation for what it really is... sad, lonely and just plain ugly. As the days are getting closer, I think I am beginning to finally experience raw emotions about it. Most of the time at inopportune moments but what can you do? Is that normal? Is there ever a normal in situations like these? Amidst the dim things that come with times like these, God has been faithful. I once read a military bible study in which the wife that wrote the study said to never fear because God knew that you would be a military wife, he knew you would go through heartache and loneliness and he will see you through it. He will give me peace in the days ahead, that I am sure of. He has provided me good friends, some of which who are in the same boat as me. So, I ask this... just be in prayer for Jon and the guys who are going with him. Pray that they keep the faith and the strength in God that they need to be successful.
With that, I am sure I'll be blogging more because I know it helps to just write it out for me. But also to document this experience in Jon and I's life and God's faithfulness to see us through it.
Live. Laugh. Love.
Melissa
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