Christmas

Many of us know the Christmas story like the back of our hand. We may have become so close to it through attending Christmas Eve services throughout the years, reading it every Christmas Eve in our homes amongst family or through the wonder of books or stories relayed through others. There are things that begin to jump out at us about this amazing story of our Savior's birth as we read and embrace it through different walks of life.

I feel that as I read the passages in my bible that laid out Christ's birth, I again remembered all that has stood out to me about this beautiful story but also gathered something new yet so simple from it. It has always amazed me that the Great I Am, the Prince of Peace, and Savior of the World who could have came into this world with greatly deserved pomp and circumstance was sent into this dark world in the form of the most fragile, soft and innocent form of life... a baby. This I believe depicts the gentle and sinless life that was to encompass Jesus' character. He didn't come in a ornate beautiful palace but a lowly dirty manger surrounded by cattle and hay. Imagine telling a hormonal pregnant woman now-a-days that there is simply no room in the clean and safe hospital room to welcome your baby into this world but the farm near by has a cozy little area in their barn that will just have to do. Could you imagine? If you look up the definition of manger, it literally says a manger is "a box or trough in a stable or barn in which horses or cattle eat." (www.dictionary.com)  Again, could you imagine?  God knew what He was doing as He began to lay out the story of the birth of Christ to teach us some life lessons. Also, he took the most unassuming of people, Mary. Mary was a poor, young Jewish girl that may have been looked at by some as unsuitable to be used by God. But God intended just the opposite for Mary. He knew her heart and He knew that He could trust her to spend Her existence serving Him. When Gabriel approached Mary, she was just in her teen years and was looking forward to marriage. Could you imagine her fear when the angel told her that although she was a virgin, she would carry the Son of God and that she would have to potentially face the consequence (for that time) of being an unwed mother? The consequences: disgraced by the community she loves and knows, being stoned to death, being divorced from the man that she loved. Yet this point I am about to talk about is what I have really dwelt on this evening and the one that stood out to me very clear... Mary may have not delved in that deep as to what her future pain could be or imagined what her Son's future would hold but she submitted to God's plan for her life and obeyed His calling. Has God every asked you to do something you never expected to do? Has He every faced you with a trial that seemed more than you could handle? Mary is such an amazing example of cooperating with God's plans or purpose even if you wonder how you will ever face what He is asking you to face. Like I said, it is a point that may have been reached by some when reading the story but I really embraced that incredibly simple message this Christmas Eve. Taking it a step further, God calls you and me, just ordinary people, just as He called Mary to submit to His plan but He also gave Mary (and gives us) the faith to carry it out. Through that precious baby many years ago, our King, laying in a manger we received that very gift of faith. How awesome? What a great testament for the Author and Finisher of our faith to implement so that we may understand Him better?

Since our move, God has really blessed Jon and I and has tirelessly worked at our hearts to show us His will for our lives. At times we've been confused. At times we've hurt. At times we have rejoiced. The good Lord only knows that I have cried out of frustration when the desires of my heart say one thing and He says another. I think that is why this message came through that familiar old story tonight. I've seen God take my unassuming self and do some big things, as I know many of you have. And again, He calls me to just submit to His plan, even if the logistics are not clear yet! As the new year approaches, a lot of people will face uncertainty, unfamiliar territories or self doubt. But God provides us such a beautiful message that He will take us in HIS will and provide us all that we need to see His task at hand through. And even though, He came as that fragile and small baby boy in the lowliest of places, His birth alone attests that we serve and praise such a mighty and powerful God.

That is the little piece of my heart for now. I want to wish all of you guys a Merry Christmas. I encouraged you to read the Christmas story again for yourself and every year not only as a reminder of the reason for the season, but to focus on God and hear His voice speak to you in the way that only He knows how and to reveal His plan for your life.

Live. Laugh. Use that faith.

Melissa

God's presence in many forms.

These last few days of thoughts and emotions, I have had to piece together a little at a time. On the last days of clinic, I  will admit that I really delayed writing about them for several reasons. I was growing more physically and mentally taxed. Here is what a clinic day is typically like: 5:30 a.m.- wake up to shower and get ready for the day. 6:30 a.m.- eat breakfast and call family to check in with them as they turn in for the night. 8:00 a.m.- out the door to clinic and make the 45 minute drive or so to Feldioara. Usually, we were met by a crowd of people of all ages with this look of hope on their face that they will get a ticket to hold their place in the clinic that day. Although they looked hopeful, they looked almost tired or worried that that day might not be their day. It's hard to describe. Clinic is usually due to start at about 9:30 a.m. but depending on our set up time, it usually started before then to start seeing as many people as we could.  In Feldioara, it was always a steady stream of people, so it was very easy to just work and lose all track of time. Although there would be patients waiting, we would usually realize it was 1 p.m. or so and it was way past lunch time. We would sneak away for about 15 minutes or 20 minutes to the back room and then make our way back to the clinic. We would work until about 5 or 6 o'clock. One night, I think we didn't leave until about 7 p.m. It's hard to know that you were done working but the work wasn't "done" because people were turned away because you did all that you physically could that day. Literally. I struggled with that more this time. By the time we ate dinner and got settled to do the devotion, it was about 9:30 or 10:00 p.m. Of course, you check in with family after again as they begin their day and try to start thinking about sleep by 11:00-11:30 p.m. I was writing my blogs when I finally got in bed and most nights would find myself falling asleep as I wrote. Sometimes I was done by midnight. Some times after. But 5:30 a.m. would come and we would do it all over again. It is the best kind of tired. But by the end of this past week, my brain needed some rest. Some people have asked how many people we saw. To be honest, I'm not sure and I don't really care (I will explain this a bit later because it's not "heartless" as it sounds! I promise). 

When I came last year, I lived on this adrenaline of the unknown at all times and everything was so new. I processed the culture shock fairly easy and quickly. I feel like I did most of my processing of what I had just done when I got home. I would look at photos to reflect on the relationships I formed and thank God for opening my heart wide for this call and to hopefully take me back again. I realized I left this piece of my soul with the people in Feldioara and Brasov. This time was different. I knew before I went there were certain uncertainties about clinic and in the hearts of in these people, that my team held so dear. I was so eager to get back and let God use this talent He has given me for His glory alone. Boy, did He use me in the most humbling ways and I feel like He broke my heart for what broke His. I felt every high and every low in real time this time. Sandy and I had many discussions about how these uncertainties and the want to do more weighed on us and just taxed us. I was telling her that I never was this tired last time. I began to process things as I would blog and it was good. But by the third or fourth clinic day, I felt that God had me at a "breaking point" of sorts... in a good way. I needed to step away from this blog for the last part of the trip because God needed to speak to me and really let every message He was laying on my heart sink in. I needed to wrestle with these uncertainties that the enemy had placed in my mind.  I needed to collect myself, to be honest. Thursday is when the day that my emotions finally came and I let them just come as they were. Raw. As I sit on this long 9.5 hour flight home, I feel like I begin my debriefing. In the days to come, I will share what God wants me to share as it becomes more clear. With that, I cannot say how much everyone's support lifted our team and the prayers sustained us.  Thank you, will never be enough. 

As the week went on, I got a little selfish in a sense. I wanted to take that extra time to spend with my team and with the Romanian's that poured their lives into ours. The relationships I formed are like ones you have with a best friend, a confidant, a sister and a brother. They have such a deep hold on my soul. It hurts to leave. I know my team shares that same sentiment. I would find myself meditating a lot on the people we came to help. I saw a lot of new faces and a lot of old ones too. I can't describe the feeling when you automatically recognize a face even though it has been 3 years and they recognize you too. To be hugged by the same arms that hugged me tight during my first time there, grips at my heart strings. I feel like that's just another blessing from our Jehovah God. On our last devotion for the week, Bro. Jerry said something that I had not thought of. We were talking about how hard it was to leave because you leave pieces of your heart in Romania (as I've said before)and with the people there. Your soul is invested. He said... "You take pieces of their hearts too." Perspective. As we said goodbye to the people at Brasov on our Saturday clinic and to the people in Feldioara on Sunday after church. It broke me and I saw it broke them too. It's a bond that is unexplainable. If you ever question where God's presence in your life is... look in front of your face. It's right there, in all of it's beauty.

 I realized how guilty I have become about not stepping out and sharing my faith and soul for God more often with even the closest of people that I know. Toben brought a devotion on Thursday night and God meant for me to hear it and let it sink in. I NEEDED to have my feet held to the fire like that. It's easy to share in Romania. God called me loud and clear on that one 3 years ago. How often am I missing the call and the nudges in my daily life to go seek out the spiritually needy in my life? Often. That is something this week that broke heart, more than anything. But God used the Romanian people who seek out the spiritually needy in their communities and those  who are closest to them and pursue them with God's grace and fire.  That passion is contagious. I want to be contagious. That is what I pray for myself and for the RoMed 2013 team. 

As we left clinic every day, I couldn't help but to feel, " we could have done more." That statement is true. It's true because the need is great. There would be steady work daily if we were there for a month. But God had us do the work that He intended at this time. It's a hard thing to grasp but it is true. He faithfully blessed us to see more people than we planned for ourselves.  He saw us through until the very last patient. Bro. Roger brought a devotion about how we have helped many and there are many more but our work is not in vain. It has been done only through the Lord. We have planted seeds that may not be sewn for some time. But even if only one person was touched through our work, it mattered to that one person. That is what lays in my mind when I said "I don't care" or get hung up on the numbers. Yes, we want to help a lot of people but it's not the quantity of the soul... but the quality you instilled. If that makes sense? If I never see some of the individuals we helped on this side of heaven. By God's grace, I am confident that I will see these precious souls on the other side of heaven. That is precious beyond measure. Thank you God for that eternal hope!!

I will conclude this blog on that note. I will share more as my soul is ready. Thank you again for all the prayers. Please continue to pray for the Romanian's that worked along side us and also those who had some needs met in their life by God and our team. Pray for the very churches that we worked in. Pray that God grows them and hand picks leaders to rise up and share His good news. Pray for our team as we all begin to debrief and to reflect. Thank you, doesn't cover it. 

Live. Love. And see God's presence waiting for you. 

Melissa

Hope

Clinic day 3 was quite possibly the most exhausting but also rewarding. Around this time, things start to set in with you. You begin to wrestle emotions, questions, culture shock and just pure exhaustion. It's a hard but blessed process and not one team member's journey is quite the same. There was a general consensus among the group that we have never had such thanks given before. I know I blogged on the thankfulness of these precious people but I can't describe it. For me personally, the thanks displayed throughout the clinic allows you to see the increased hope and spirit of individuals who have had it less ideal than what we are afforded in our lives. God, in turn lifted my spirit as He lifted theirs. I needed it. I know our team needs it because it has been emotional and tiring week on a "team level" but also in individual lives. I ask that you pray for our team members that are really dealing with heavy burdens, worries and questions in their lives but also praise the moments where God makes it abundantly clear to us that He alone provides the hope that renews our souls and He is Abba Father in our lives.

Sandy asked me to share Isaiah 40:31 without knowing that I planned on blogging about hope as I was overwhelmed by the hugs and kisses from almost every patient today. It is written in Romanian:

"dar ceice se încred în Domnul îşi înoiesc puterea, ei sboară ca vulturii; aleargă şi nu obosesc, umblă, şi nu ostenesc."

May the morning and our last clinic day in Feldioara find us in a place of renewal from our precious Lord, as it will be emotional to leave. Pray that God meets us the moment we wake ready to see His work done with the strength that He provides us. May we not grow faint and forget that His plan for our work in Feldioara does not run on our schedule but His alone. 

Live. Love. And hope. 

Melissa 

Rest

My devotional verse today is "Don't you know? Haven't you heard? The Lord is the everlasting God; He created all the world. He  never grows tired or weary. No one understands His thoughts. He strengthens those who are tired and weak."  How many of us walk around tired and weak because we try to be the planner of our days and the author of our story? I am so guilty of this. But He promptly reminds us that He is the foundation in our lives and His grace is truly enough.  He  gives grace beyond what  you and I deserve.  He gives us much needed rest.

Rest was what was needed today for everyone  in different ways. We had two of our awesome team members fall ill with a stomach bug. It was horrible. Please pray that Nikki and April will find the strength that only God can provide to continue to press on and feel better. Also, pray that we  continue to do God's work the next three days in Feldioara and Brasov despite if the sickness spreads ( hopefully not)! We are expecting to hit our capacities as far as patient load is concerned very early in the day and work until the "cows come home" literally! Pray for  us to maximize the time to meet physical needs but also share the hope of our Savior with these precious people. I know God will see to it.

Today we did some sight seeing at Castle Braun (aka Dracula's Castle), shopping at the markets and at Metro (Romanian Costco/SAMs Club!),  Wok Street and taking in  breath taking sights on overlooks! As busy as it was, it was restful and nice to just recharge your batteries.  I can't wait to be able to share all the photos. I've said before that our team is an awesome bunch and a funny group but to get to just be with them today was just awesome. You start to hear what is going on in other parts of the clinic and their stories and how God is working in their life. I thank God for today because it was truly good and restful.

Pray for our team as we begin our three days straight of clinic. Pray that God is  preparing the way for His grace and love be impressed upon the Romanian people.  It is amazing how at home I feel here. As we stood on an overlook that looks down on Brasov, our team joined hands and we prayed for  this community.  It is overwhelming at times, like today, to know God hand picked this team one by one  to be sent in His name here. He chose me....3  years ago and knew what a seed of love He planted of love in my soul for these people.

Thank you for praying and just taking the time to read my thoughts. It is how I decompress. It is how I praise. It is part of how experience this joy when the busy of the day dies down. Pam and I talked about how tired we were tonight. But she said it best.... " It is the best kind of tired and exhausted to be." Amen.

Love. Love.  And rest.

Melissa

Thankful.

Thankful. That word emulates this experience on several different levels. Anyone who has spent time doing missions or living in another country for more than a couple of days can attest that more likely than not, you leave changed and thankful for the luxuries that we are afforded in the States. But that only scratches the surface, in my opinion, on the thankfulness that truly sinks in to your core.

We walked into the church in Feldioara for clinic today and were met with several faces already eagerly waiting. My heart skipped a beat because I knew our day would be full on many accounts. Yes, full for the amount of patient load we would carry but also full of God's love and grace covering each section of the clinic. God has been so diligent to place us in a place with a great need physically and spiritually. For that, I'm thankful. A lot of the patients were new today but several familiar faces were present, some again for a visit to the dental clinic, some not. One thing was constant among them... they relayed how thankful they were to be out of pain and just feel better. Genuine thankfulness. I don't mean my thankfulness is genuine when I come back to the States when I say mine barely scratches the surface. But when these precious people are thankful, they make it incredibly clear just how thankful. To have a woman who I just gave several injections to and Dr. Joel just extracted teeth just minutes before, cup my face in her hands and just hold it there to look me in the eyes and express her thankfulness to God and then her thankfulness to our team is indescribable. She thanked our Almighty Father first. Think about that. How easy is it to praise man first and thank our Father anything but because we cannot see him? How precious that she did. To have a gentleman who visited with us, kiss our hands after we finished our work, is unforgettable. It overwhelms me. Although I have been called to exemplify God's love and mercy through the very talent he gave me, which is a blessing in itself, He continues to warm and bless my heart through the people of Feldioara. I am thankful to experience that kind of thanks and pray that I too can learn to act in thanks rather than just speak it with my mouth. 

God has such a way of providing during our busy days. There are times when you do get overwhelmed and a little frustrated but God continually provides a calm and peace hat only he can provide. He also had crafted each moment of these days way in advance to provide the right amount of supplies and the needed people to make it through the day. He provided April who has been vital to our team by sterilizing instruments to make sure we have clean instruments when we need them. I am so thankful for her willingness to jump right in to an area unfamiliar to her, just to help. Also, for her wit and humor to get through emotional times. Amidst many moments of  thanks today, this one really stands out: We treated a woman who actually spoke Hungarian, rather than Romanian, which made it hard for our amazing translator, Lydia, to do her job. But wouldn't you know it, a woman waiting beside her... she knew Hungarian and could be the translator for our translator?! Thankful. Just thankful that a language barrier did not keep this young lady from receiving much needed care. I am thankful for God's grace through His provisions to help maximize our work but pray also that we continue to recognize them and grow from them. 

I'm incredibly thankful for our team. They are a funny bunch that lead to van rides of unending laughter and smiles. But they are also some of the most talented and incredible people you will ever meet with kind hearts for the Lord. Tonight during devotion, Dr. Kim discussed a little girl she saw in the eye clinic that had a surgery recently that left her in dire need of a much stronger strength glasses that we could not provide without chipping in money, taking the girl to the eye clinic here, which s very expensive for Romanians, and buying them ourselves. Without hesitation our team said yes, let's do this, how much do we need and what can we do? This little girl... will be getting her much needed glasses and precious sight back. Praise God. I am thankful to be apart of such a strong team. 

God is working in my heart on a very personal level just as He did my last visit here. He keeps prodding me patiently as I wrestle with my own fears and logistical thinking but has been bringing me to a place of extreme clarity. Pray as I begin to step out and reconcile these changes in my life because they will be big. But not too big for God. I'm thankful for God's clarity as I press ahead to seek His will. 

I am thankful. So, thankful. 

Happy Anniversary to my wonderful husband! I love you so much! Just had to add in just another person I am thankful for!

Live. Love and Thankfulness.

Melissa

Only through God... Clinic Day 1

Clinic day one is officially over and all I can say is "wow." If you have ever been on this type of mission trip, you'll know it is physically and emotionally exhausting. But it is the kind of exhausted you want it to be. Our morning started off a little hectic with forgetting some of our key suitcases at the house. We had to wait on our supplies to be brought to us and then start wading through the growing line of people waiting to be seen.

In the dental clinic, we really found our groove today and stayed busy once we had all our tools! I gave a lot of shots...A LOT of shots! I learned a lot and I surprised myself a lot. I guess I had forgotten from the last visit about how tough these people are. The want for the pain to be gone outweighs the temporary pain of an injection. I would give shots that people in the States would really give me a fit over and these sweet people, although some are nervous, would just simply... take it. There's no way of putting that any other way. Dr. Joel and Beth did such an amazing job with the extractions. In situations that became frustrating and chaotic, I felt God provided our dental team with peace, compassion and a little bit of humor to push through.

The medical team and Dr. Kim our Ophthalmologist were diligent in meeting so many needs today. My favorite moment today that literally has made the whole trip thus far... came from Dr. Kim's part of the clinic. A woman named Cornelia came in to the dental clinic crying. Lydia, our translator, rushed to her side in fear that she was terribly nervous about her dental visit. Just the opposite. This precious woman of 69 years of age got her first pair of glasses. She could FINALLY see clearly, for quite possibly the first time. Glasses are very expensive and often any money earned does not get spent on one's self but necessities like groceries or bills. Therefore money for glasses, dental work and doctor visits are rare to come by. Cornelia wept in sheer happiness and cried out loud that only with God was this possible. She praised God to those around her while she waited without ceasing and of course, my heart was flooded with joy and the tears began to flow. Things that are luxuries: glasses and sight, we take for granted because we are afforded them at much lower costs and we have insurance to help. There may even be an app for that! This sweet woman was beside herself. God painted the most beautiful picture of Cornelia, that I cannot even think about with out getting teary eyed (even as I type). She was given a bible. as she opened it, she began to touch the very words that her faith has been based upon... just by sight alone. She began to read God's holy and precious word aloud and continued to cry in sheer praise to our Creator. Never will I forget that moment. I know that the sound of her voice reciting God's word was the sweetest sound to His ears and to mine.

My quiet time was Philippians 4:6 where God asks us the think upon things that are noble, right, true, lovely and pure. If it is excellent or praise worthy... think on it. This day can be described with those words and I know... I will forever be thinking on it. God is good.

Pray for our 2nd day of clinic. Now that word is getting out in the village, we will become increasingly busy and our prayer is that we will meet all of the needs in Feldioara.

Live. Laugh and Praise God for seeing clearly... Possibly for the first time.

Melissa

Possible.

I was really debating writing today for a couple reasons. One, I'm exhausted. For some reason I do not remember being this tired last time. One would think at my ripe age of 25, I'd go full steam like I did when I was 22 (on my last visit.) Unfortunately, not the case this year! It will get better though! Two, today was a down day to prepare for clinic this week. But God kept prompting me to write and by the time I sat down for my quiet time tonight, I knew what he wanted me to write about... I had no choice.

 We went to church in Feldioara today and saw some familiar faces from our last visit! It was such a joy to see these precious people and meet new ones today that will be present during our clinic time! It warmed my heart to hug these people and have them remember our last visit together.

In church, we worshipped with the Romanians in song and in the Word. Bro. Jerry preached an awesome message on Jeremiah 33:3 in service today and shared the wonderful message of our God remaining constantly when nothing else seems constant. And that His grace is sufficient because I cannot do it on my own. Ever. No man can do this life on their own. All we have to do is just call on Him.Truly think about that for a second. The God who made your/my very being WANTS and ASKS me, a dirty and not righteous sinner, to call on Him, the King of Kings, and the Great I Am. When we call, He keeps His promise to show us great and mighty things. He makes our frustrations and I can't statements more hopeful, more possible.

Possible. God knew what to put that in my quiet time to tug my heart right into this blog to share His message. As I opened up my bible app that houses my daily devotional to read this simple yet powerful verse, "But Jesus beheld them and said unto them, 'With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.' " God intended that message alone to be the lesson of the day. I have to confess that I get nervous about clinic. I am numbing up the patient for the dentist and I LOVE giving local shots (Yes, I'm weird!). But I worry constantly that what if I don't numb them enough, what if I don't hit the right "landmark," what if I hurt the patient and what if they are uncomfortable. These are legitimate worries in my mind but boy do I feel silly as I type them because I KNOW that God already is overcoming these worries. Yet, God is gentle with my stubborn self and he lets me have a lesson twice in one day to really hear what he is saying. We serve a God of possibilities when things seem not so perfect and even impossible. Simple. But again, powerful. I needed this because I will surely fail in my own worries but will only rise above when I trust my worry and my fear to the Lord.  Pray that I will put my impossibilities in the One who is author of possibilities and Hope, Jesus Christ. Pray with me also, that very same prayer for our team as we have hit a lot of unknowns this trip.

I cannot wait to post about all the miracles and successes tomorrow that will be made POSSIBLE through our Heavenly Father. Pray for our team as we provide physical care to those who are in dire need but also, nurture their spirit as well. It is going to be a busy day! We had one patient actually come to church because she thought we started clinic today. She was READY with a capital R and I'm sure she would have let Dr. Joel pull a tooth on the spot. I know we are READY to see these special people of Feldioara and with our Abba's help... The impossible made possible. Pray that for our team.

Thank you for your prayers and kind emails! You guys ROCK! Update for our week: we have added an extra clinic day this week to work in the city of Brasov. We worked there last visit and I know there are souls waiting to be met with Christ's love and compassion through our work and His word.

Until tomorrow.

Live. Laugh. And possibilities.

Melissa